Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
