They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
