I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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