Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
