Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
dude i'm inner monologue high
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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