So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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