Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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