i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
