I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
