i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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