stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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