I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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