I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
