the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
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