i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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