found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
