We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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