i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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