He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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