She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Randomize
