their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
