Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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