no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
