I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Randomize
