Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
