You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
