Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
