He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
