We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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