remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
