There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
