we're chasing vodka with high fives
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
