Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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