sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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