so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
he was CRYING into my vagina
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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