I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
