Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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