thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
