I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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