dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
And then he peed in my hair
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