guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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