Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
