If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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