glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
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Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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