you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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