i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
