I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Randomize
