u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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