come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize