Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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