I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
He shit in the fireplace
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
