So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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