Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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