saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize