Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
