i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
she looked like the before picture.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
