i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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