I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
