i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize