...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
