Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
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I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
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Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
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