What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
