he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
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either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
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He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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