17 year olds will be the death of me.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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