Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night