When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
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I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
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i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
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