so that wasnt chicken after all
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
